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Earlier this week, I read a great blog from Chad Missildine. In it, he dissected what he thought was the biggest mistake that single people make. (It’s being discontent, for the record.) I have to say that I agree. But since reading that, I’ve realized that we could take it one step further. So, I want to take a minute to unearth what single girls are doing wrong.

As girls – like it or not (and I don’t) – we analyze. There’s a step-by-step thought process to what we wear, who we’re spending time with, what we eat – and don’t forget the ‘why’ for all of this – and on and on and on. Relationships are a whole different story. Personally, my tendency is to assume the worst and really sabotage my friendships and relationships because I don’t feel like I deserve them (Lies). As I was thinking about a recent friendationship (you can have that one…it’s free), I realized something huge for me. Ladies and gentlemen, pay attention. I’m about to let you in on the big secret. Here we go…

Girls often confuse convenience with love.

Whoa…I know. Pump. Those. Brakes. Let’s dig in.

Tara-Leigh Cobble, a friend of mine and very talented writer, in her book
Here’s to Hindsight
had this to say:

“In my experience, the inherent problem with male-female friendships is this: girls tend to fall for familiarity, and guys tend to fall for mystery. As the girl gets to know her guy friend better and learns about his character, he becomes more and more attractive to her; meanwhile she becomes less mysterious and intriguing to him, and she slowly sinks into the quicksand of ‘Just-Friends Land’.”

Pretty smart, right? That about sums it up for me. I think we often get mixed up in thinking that just because there’s someone who cares for us that’s frequently around that there should be some sort of romanticism there. Definitely not the case. We need to stop settling for just “what’s around.” The amount of stories I’ve heard about girls (though I’ve seen guys do this, too) saying and doing whatever necessary to keep a relationship that they know is NEVER going to work, if they’re being honest, moving forward is appalling. We weren’t made for just okay. Especially not when God has our best interest at heart.

Yes, I believe there comes a point where discontentment is the issue. Our parents’ society set us up to believe that there is a formula for our lives: we go to school, then college, get a job, get married, start a family, keep working, spoil some grandkids, retire, the end. For so many years, I’ve been shooting for “what’s next” on the list of things to do in my life. The problem is our generation is waiting longer and longer to get married. It’s a conflict of interest; I’m not ready to even THINK about marriage, but I feel unfulfilled – like I’m missing out on something by being 25 and only casually dating.

I’ve lost count of how many times my friends and I have sat around talking about our guys friends and the thought “I just can’t read if he’s interested or not” comes in to play. Why do we feel the need to complicate these things? If the other person is interested, they’re going to let you know. It’s time to stop worrying about it and just enjoy each other. I know I’d rather just kick back and watch the game with my boys than wonder which one may or may not “like me”. No one likes confusion and games (and we’re getting a liiiiiiittle too old for them), so let’s just agree to stop playing them. Let’s enjoy this season of learning, growth, and independence and remember that, at the end of the day, what’s gonna happen will happen. Besides, the other secret is this: there’s no rush.

Just sayin’.

You’re reading part seventeen of my 30 (ish) day blog challenge. Here’s what you’ve missed so far:

Day 1 — Your best friend – Rachel
Day 2 — Your vices – Just Read It
Day 3 — Your parents – Barry & Carla
Day 4 — Your siblings – Barry & Daryl
Day 5 — Your dreams – I’ve got lots
Day 6 — Someone that inspires you – Stacey
Day 7 — Your job – Work in progress
Day 8 — Your favorite internet friend you’ve never met – Stephanie
Day 9 — Someone you wish you could meet – George W. Bush
Day 10 — Someone you don’t talk to as much as you’d like to – Alyson
Day 11 — A deceased person you wish you could talk to – Papa Jim
Day 12 — Your dream vacation – Italy
Day 13 — Something you look forward to – Sundays
Day 14 — Someone you’ve drifted away from – Marci Marie
Day 15 — The person you miss the most – Sarah Kelley
Day 16 — Someone not in your state/country – Mallory Gilbert

Three years ago today, I packed everything I own into the back of my dad’s truck and moved back home. Three years ago today, I spent 13 hours thinking this was the biggest mistake of my life. Three years ago this morning at 5:32 a.m., I crawled into my parent’s bed and sobbed in my mother’s arms.

I chose to do this to myself. My best friend was getting married and I wanted to be there for her as the rest of the bridesmaids were scattered all across Texas, one even in Peru. It was nice to be home, but having only been home for small bursts of visits over the past two years, having all this time was a little more than overwhelming. Through a series of events, I found myself with no one to hang out with. I felt completely alone.

To let you understand a little better, my brave best friend – Stacey – created a photobook of sorts called Black and White and Nashville All Over. She spent an entire year taking pictures and collecting stories from people – none longer than 100 words. Regardless of where you are from, I think it’s a great look into the human psyche and is worth your money…and it makes a GREAT coffee table book. The point is, she included me in this process. I had been back in Texas for over 8 months before I made my first trip to Nashville. I was excited to spend time with my brave best friend and was real excited to have her do another shoot with me (ANY of the pictures on my facebook that you see and think, that looks good…all her handiwork). I didn’t expect my shoot to turn the way it did. When I was asked to write my “100 words” of where I was in life at that moment, this is what I put:

I’m living in the same city I spent the first 19 years of my life, but I’m an unwelcomed stranger in a foreign land. Surrounded by familiar faces and still alone. These people try – honest they do – but I’m finding that the loneliest word is honesty. If I’m being honest with myself, I have to say my only love is a far away city and it’s people who make me feel alive. So here it is – my honest admission: I’m lonely and the only place I want to get to is home. Truth hurts, but truth is all i have.

And I meant every word.

Today, I’m supposed to talk about (yes, that was the prologue) the place I wish I were from. I would put money on the fact that you’re thinking Nashville. It is every bit of who I am. But I can say, with 100% certainty that who I am would be nothing without where I’m from. And though moving home when I did was the hardest thing I’ve ever had to go through, it was the smart decision. I wouldn’t have known, nor had the pleasure to introduce you to people like Marci or Sarahor Mallory. I wouldn’t have been able to have the pleasure of serving on staff here at Cross Point.

If you want a picture glimpse into the past bit of my life, check out this blog that I never keep up with (sorry, Steph). It’s all sorts of pictures from January – May of my day-to-day life. Pay special note to how RIDICULOUS my high school football stadium is…

I love where I’m from and whole-heartedly believe that home is where your story begins.

The last two and a half years weren’t nearly as awful as they started out seeming they would be. I wouldn’t be here if it wasn’t going there. I wouldn’t be who I am without the people I’ve met in the past few years alone. I can’t imagine life without them.

I may come from a small town, but I’ve got big dreams…just wait and see.


Day 18 — The person that you wish you could be
Day 19 — Something that makes you different
Day 20 — Your favorite television shows
Day 21 — Someone you judged by their first impression
Day 22 — Your pet peeves
Day 23 — The last person you kissed
Day 24 — The person that gave you your favorite memory
Day 25 — A life changing moment
Day 26 — The last person you made a pinky promise to
Day 27 — The thing you most enjoy doing
Day 28 — Someone that changed your life
Day 29 — Your talent
Day 30 — Your reflection in the mirror

You’re reading part sixteen of my 30 (ish) day blog challenge. Here’s what you’ve missed so far:

Day 1 — Your best friend – Rachel
Day 2 — Your vices – Just Read It
Day 3 — Your parents – Barry & Carla
Day 4 — Your siblings – Barry & Daryl
Day 5 — Your dreams – I’ve got lots
Day 6 — Someone that inspires you – Stacey
Day 7 — Your job – Work in progress
Day 8 — Your favorite internet friend you’ve never met – Stephanie
Day 9 — Someone you wish you could meet – George W. Bush
Day 10 — Someone you don’t talk to as much as you’d like to – Alyson
Day 11 — A deceased person you wish you could talk to – Papa Jim
Day 12 — Your dream vacation – Italy
Day 13 — Something you look forward to – Sundays
Day 14 — Someone you’ve drifted away from – Marci Marie
Day 15 — The person you miss the most – Sarah Kelley

I’m not that hard to get along with. No seriously, I could make friends with a brick wall. I get that from my dad. So, back in 2007 when I moved back to Texas, I wasn’t too worried about being home without many friends. I started volunteering with Young Life and met so many amazingly sweet girls that I feel like I’ve known for my whole life…but it’s only been 3 years. Sometimes, you meet someone and just know from the very first ‘hello’ that you’ve already been friends for 45 years. That’s exactly how I felt when I met my sister, Mallory Gilbert.

Malpal (which is what I like to call her…it just sounds fun…malpal) is a nut. Really, I’ve never met someone with so much spunk, A.D.D., chill factor, and sincerity all rolled in to one…which is an amazing fete. She’s a friend to many and it’s hard not to love her. She speaks my language, which is pretty hard to do. She’s got all these great little traits, but they’re so hard to explain. You’d honestly just have to meet her. But if you check out this letter, you’ll understand just why I love her:

Dearest Malpal,

Kidding me? You’re adorable. And I miss you. I’m so glad that I got to see you just a few weeks ago, though it already feels like it’s been years. Dear spring break, hurry up!

I’ve had the most fun of my life hanging around you these past few years. Your heart for your friends is so challenging. You love them fiercely, even when they are immature and stupid. You have faith in them, even when they fail you time and time again. Friends like you are one in a million, and I wouldn’t trade you for anything.

I love that you can just give me a look and I know exactly what you’re trying to say. I love that you talk with your hands and say ‘soooooo….yeah’ a lot. I love that some idiot wrote a song about you and perfectly describes you and your friends. 🙂

I know that I may be excessively selfish, but I’m praying that the only school that accepts you is Belmont so you can be closer to me. Let’s face it, the minute you get here, Port Neches will be the last place you’ll ever want to be. It’s amazing here. Nashville can’t wait to meet you…I know, she told me.

I literally just paused for 15 minutes to sign you up for Belmont info…my plan to get you here is in action. MUAHAHAHA!

Seriously though, you’ve shown me so much about how to be more laid back and silly in life. You’ve taught me how to trust people and how to really open up to them. I’m a braver girl because of you. I can’t wait to see what’s going to happen in your life. I know that there’s never going to be a limit to what you’re capable of.

hugsandgigglesandallsortsofglitter,
krystin


Day 17 — The place you wish you were from
Day 18 — The person that you wish you could be
Day 19 — Something that makes you different
Day 20 — Your favorite television shows
Day 21 — Someone you judged by their first impression
Day 22 — Your pet peeves
Day 23 — The last person you kissed
Day 24 — The person that gave you your favorite memory
Day 25 — A life changing moment
Day 26 — The last person you made a pinky promise to
Day 27 — The thing you most enjoy doing
Day 28 — Someone that changed your life
Day 29 — Your talent
Day 30 — Your reflection in the mirror

You’re reading part eight of my 30 (ish) day blog challenge. Here’s what you’ve missed so far:

Day 1 — Your best friend – Rachel
Day 2 — Your vices – Just Read It
Day 3 — Your parents – Barry & Carla
Day 4 — Your siblings – Barry & Daryl
Day 5 — Your dreams – I’ve got lots
Day 6 — Someone that inspires you – Stacey
Day 7 — Your job – Work in progress

Today I get the privilege of talking to you about a complete stranger. Sounds weird, I know, but that’s today’s topic: Your fave internet friend you’ve never met. Funny thing is, I feel like I’ve known Stephanie for years. She was ever so gracious to write a blog about me and I feel the only way to do her justice, is to return the favor. Here’s my letter to Steph:

Sister girl,
Honestly, I feel like copying and pasting your entire letter to me over here and just changing the name…because everything you said about me, I see in you. But, that would not be appropriate and plagiarism isn’t too high up on my priorities.

I hope Cali is treating you swell. It looks good on you so far. I know it isn’t easy, but I know you are there because that is where God wants you. Don’t forget that…it is where HE wants you.

I count you as one of my dearest friends. You’ve seen (or read through emails of) me at my lowest of lows. You listened to me as I went through drama with the most impossible woman I’ve ever known. You gave the best advice and challenged me to really understand who I am and what I believe and why I believe it (sidenote: the word believe is really tricky to type for me sometimes and now it doesn’t event look like a word…believe…weird…….moving on). You never once judged me when I poured out my heart about “the boy”, in my decision to let him go, doubting my decision and then beating myself up for falling for him again, and then started the process over and over and over again…you just offered encouragement and the proverbial shoulder to cry on.

I don’t think you give yourself nearly enough credit. You are so talented; in writing, in music, in everything! You’ve got a heart of gold and such a capacity to love. Your vulnerability is so refreshing and you are such a beacon of hope…to everyone you know. I know…I do my own Facebook stalking 😉

You are going to do some amazing things. I’m so glad to be just a small part of your story.

I’ll see you this spring! Unless, that is, you want to see Nashville in the fall. Let’s face it…it’s pretty fantastic.

L.A., here I come!
Krystin

P.S. I’m actually a little (and by a little, I mean a LOT) mad at you for not calling me the INSTANT you met Matthew Gray Gubler! Seriously?! Criminal Minds is my favorite show! So pissed. Maybe I’ll meet him on set…I got the hook up! Haha!


Day 9 — Someone you wish you could meet
Day 10 — Someone you don’t talk to as much as you’d like to
Day 11 — A deceased person you wish you could talk to
Day 12 — Your dream vacation
Day 13 — Something you’re looking forward to
Day 14 — Someone you’ve drifted away from
Day 15 — The person you miss the most
Day 16 — Someone that’s not in your state/country
Day 17 — The place you wish you were from
Day 18 — The person that you wish you could be
Day 19 — Something that makes you different
Day 20 — Your favorite television shows
Day 21 — Someone you judged by their first impression
Day 22 — Your pet peeves
Day 23 — The last person you kissed
Day 24 — The person that gave you your favorite memory
Day 25 — A life changing moment
Day 26 — The last person you made a pinky promise to
Day 27 — The thing you most enjoy doing
Day 28 — Someone that changed your life
Day 29 — Your talent
Day 30 — Your reflection in the mirror

little birdy told me…

Recurring Thoughts

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